A:  Congratulations for thinking ahead and putting the safety of yourself and your partner foremost in importance.  Sex without fear is the best sex, my dear!  Now, to get you over the communication hurdle…
Determine what you want to say.  Consider why condom usage is important to you and your relationship.  Writing these reasons on paper will help you solidify and clarify your reasoning.  


Decide when to bring up the topic.  Waiting to talk about condom usage until you’re in the heat of passion is a big mistake --your rationality may be fuzzy and you may end up doing something you later regret.  Instead, choose a time to talk before your first intimate moment.  Having a clear understanding of each other’s needs before you have sex means you’ll be relaxed and prepared when the moment actually occurs.


Choose an opening line.  Initiating discussion is the hardest part.  Examples of introductory lines are, “I want to talk to you about something that’s important to both of us” or “I feel sort of embarrassed, but I care too much about you not to talk about this”.  It’s perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable talking about sex.  Don’t be afraid to share these feelings – your partner can probably relate!


Have a back-up plan.  There is a chance that your partner may not be receptive to condom usage.  Arguments might consist of statements like “sex isn’t as good with condoms,” “they’re too expensive,” “they ruin the mood” or “you’re safe with me.”  Don’t be caught off guard – plan in advance how you will respond to each of these arguments should they come up.

For additional tips, check out the brochure “Condoms: Talking with Your Partner” available at the Wellness Center located at the Rec Center or at Health Promotion and Preventive Services located on the 2nd floor of Old Main.