A: By the term “nice”
guy, I assume you’re referring to someone who is stable, honest, caring
and loyal. If you feel you’ve been rejected based on these characteristics
of “nice-ness,” then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate the type of partner
you’re attracted to.
A woman who is emotionally and socially immature will often be attracted
to men for superficial reasons – his physical appearance, his financial
status, his athletic ability or simply because all her friends think he’s
hot. Due to reasons of insecurity or fear of commitment and intimacy,
she will fervently pursue men who are deemed hot commodities but who are
also well known players. The challenge and the victory of attaining
an “unattainable” man, no matter how insensitive and unreliable he may
be, is a way of proving her own self-worth and attractiveness.
As maturity levels and self-esteem increase, however, these women begin to realize how unsatisfying and transient such relationships are. They learn that physical attraction and stable love can all be found in one partner.
Take a closer look at the type
of woman you are attracted to. Does she tend to be drawn to well-known
players? Does she have a history of short-term, unsatisfactory relationships?
If it is a long-term relationship you desire, look for a woman who mirrors
your “nice guy” qualities – stability, honesty, loyalty and caring.
Reference: Kuriansky, J. (1998). The Complete Idiot’s Guide
to A Healthy Relationship. New York, NY: Alpha Books.
